When I used to temp in college I would temp for companies like Napster or Junk Food Clothing. Now, I temp for companies with acronyms like XPI and GWE (both totally made up). Companies that I couldn’t tell you what they sell, service they offer, or what those letters even stand for. They say they are ‘media marketing companies’. But I believe it’s just a fancy of way of saying; we don’t do shit here. I’m pretty sure if Tommy from Martin did have a job, he worked at one of these companies.
I’ve found America’s dirty little secret, adult playgrounds. Not adult as in something sexual. (Sidenote: I don’t know why the word adult is associated with sex anyway, since more non adults are doing it these days.) These companies are huge office spaces with fully stocked kitchens, game rooms, basketball courts, and TV’s. They basically look like Tom Hank’s Manhattan loft in the movie Big. And they aren’t fooling anyone with those all day meetings that are more like undergrad study sessions: coffee, junk food, laptops, and lots of time wasted. Some are even pet friendly. In my current temp job I work for a company that lets you bring your dogs to work. Which is always fun for me since I have a mortal fear of dogs. Part of my job description is to give the dogs treats. So I’m a dog sitter AND I have to sign for packages.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about these companies in any way. They have been great places to work. I am able to get a ton of writing done, including writing this post. All while making enough money to pay my cell phone bill. My point is why didn’t anybody tell me these places existed? I might have changed my major to like; marketing, communications, or some other bullshit major. To be fair, I majored in political science and I’m still not entirely clear how elections work. So I guess I’ll spend the rest of today updating my resume. I’m sure adding “stellar dog feeder” to my skills section couldn’t hurt.