Sometimes I wish money motivated me to do things, just so I could understand the rest of the world. I’m the least motivated or excited person about money that I know of, which is probably why I don’t have much of it. Savings?! Who needs one of those when I live in the moment. Seriously though, I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and happy any day. How does that make sense? I don’t know, I just imagine rich people have a whole bunch of extra problems I don’t have. Yes, I would like to make a decent living as a writer and be able to afford nice things, but my goal in life isn’t to live like Jay and Bey. Speaking of Jay and Bey is anyone else not terrified of how powerful they are? I bet if we did a poll right now 95% of America would vote them as king and queen of the world, versus like having a democracy. It’d be like a scary not so distant future sci-fi movie; giant statues of them erected everywhere; Beyonce history classes; everyone has to wear Roca-A-Wear – that would be the most terrifying part! Sadly, my exaggeration isn’t far from reality. With that being said I should just move to Canada before that happens. If not Canada then, New York.
I’ve always wanted to live in New York. I blame all the 90’s movies and TV shows that were filmed there: Home Alone 2, Coming to America, Sex In the City, and of course How I Met Your Mother. The thought of moving to New York makes me feel like I will meet my soul mate there or at least devise an intricate plan to outsmart some dimwitted criminals. I’ve been told that I “look like I could live in New York”, whatever that means. I’ve held back on my dreams of living there for many reasons: money, family, money, friends, and mainly money. New York is crazy expensive to live in. I spend one week there and I’m taking a second mortgage out on a house that I don’t own. I think Roger from American Dad put it best, “I want to move to New York but you either have to be really rich or really poor and I’m kind of in between…”. And when it comes to writing for TV shows the pickings are slim. There’s really only SNL and late night shows. So if you thought it was hard to get a TV writing job in LA, New York TV writing jobs are as rare as a unicorn riding a motorcycle down a rainbow.
But one caveat I’m forgetting is that I’m not a working sitcom writer…yet. So moving to New York isn’t taking me away from anything. There’s no husband, kids, or pets I have to sell before I move. I could just go and see what happens. Find my way in the big city, get robbed on the train, fall in love like 8 times in one month, and write an amazing script about all of it. The cool thing about life is you never know where your “big break” is going to come from. I mean I guess you kind of do if you want to be like a dentist or something. They have to go to dental school, duh. But I mean when you’re trying to break into entertainment. Who says I will write a pilot and get a manager or agent in LA? What if I’m waiting tables in a New York restaurant and I happen to meet Tina Fey and we connect over some women’s rights issue and she asks to read my work? Next thing you know I’m writing for Tina Fey’s new project or maybe even my own. Hey it could happen! All I’m saying is I don’t have to be married to this whole “LA is the place to be for writing” idea. While I ponder the benefits of living in a 5 story walk up, please enjoy this slot dancing to 80’s music.