Temp Life

You have to have a specific set of skills to be a temp. Skills that you acquire over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you!-Sorry I couldn’t resist the Taken reference. But seriously, you have to be flexible, easily adaptable, and professional. The other day I temped at the temp agency I work for. Which sounds kind of funny; I was a temp at a temp agency. They needed someone to cover the desk while they were at their holiday party.

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Which by the way, office holiday parties have gotten completely of hand these days. In the future I imagine there will be a holiday designated for office holiday parties. In any event, I’m not opposed to turning down any jobs (money) at this point in my life so I took the job. I spent most of my day in the office BS’n on Facebook, quietly judging people on Instagram, and writing this post.

I also got to hear a few job recruiter horror stories. Like the lady who when asked about the 3 year gap in her employment, responded with, “I don’t know where I was”. So you just lost 3 years of your life? And why would you even admit to that if that were the case? Then there was the woman who checked the box for ‘Bilingual’ and thought she checked the box for ‘Bisexual’. Common mistake right? Because employers always want to know your sexuality. 

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Then there was the woman who asked her interviewer how old he was. Which is never okay. The interviewer proceeded to tell her he couldn’t disclose that information in the nicest HR’ish way possible. So of course she asked him again. Like in what world is even okay to ask that under regular social circumstances?! And these are just the stories they could share with me. Now that I think about it, Liam Nesson’s character in all of the Taken movies would make a pretty dope temp.

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Executive Decisions

Annnnd we’re back, well kinda. My life has turned into one big iPhone calendar eagerly waiting to be filled. I’ve never really been a busy body but lately I’ve found myself actually having to use my iPhone calendar to remember things. Things like; what shifts I’m covering at the restaurant, what temp jobs I’m working, and reminding myself to see Mocking Jay (which was epic BTW). One calendar appointment I’ve been anticipating is my first gig back at my favorite cable network as an executive assistant! This is my ideal job that I’ve been trying to lock down.

So when you think of Hollywood exec’s what do you think of? Men with headsets, drinking venti coffees, yelling about some deal or at an agent.

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And if you thought this, you’re sexist! Women can be big time exec assholes too. But seriously if you thought that you would be 100% right. I always pictured being an executive assistant was like being Anne Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada.

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While I was training with the current assistant she said this about the executive, “She’s usually nice to temps but she may yell at you, just don’t take it personal”. I thought great; I’m going to be on pins and needles all day cowering in fear of being yelled at by this woman.  I don’t know if it was a combination of nerves or just me not knowing how to use the phone system but on my first day I hung up on the exec about 5 times while trying to connect her calls! I was sure I was either going to be yelled at or asked to leave the building when she arrived to the office. However, she just went about her daily tasks of asking me to get her things I hoped were left for me or easy to find. Working for an executive is like having a child, a busy, short tempered, forgetful child. You have to tell them what to do, who to call, and where to go. For example: Who’s my lunch with? Where’s my lunch? I need directions. Should I be wearing pants? – (a joke but a likely question)

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The perks of this job are getting to overhear industry convos; what’s coming out, who’s going to be in what, and who everyone secretly hates. And you get to read scripts! When I think about it minus all the industry BS and scary execs with scowls it’s really a great place to be. I tried my best to stay on top of things and not get yelled at and it actually worked. I was surprised by how smooth things went.

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This morning I woke up with a profound sense of gratitude. I’d been so worried about doing a good job, getting a permanent job here, and just being an overall scary cat that I hadn’t stopped to appreciate where I am. I’m not at the top and I’m not necessarily at the bottom. But I’m exactly where I should be and for that I am grateful.

That’s So LA

Sometimes I have mini epiphanies about myself, like realize who I am. “I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!” But seriously aside from being a chronic movie quoter and pop culture extraordinaire, I’m also really ‘LA’. I used to reject this term because of the negative connotations that went along with being called an ‘LA girl’ i.e. Basketball Wives LA.  But the other day I saw it. I saw all the things that make me so LA…

1) I go on hikes. Sure, people go on hikes in other parts of the world. But when your hikes consist of two miles or less of man-made trails and a champagne brunch (or Chic-Fil-a which is delicious anytime of the day) after, you know you’re LA.

2) I am gluten free. People pretty much hate my existence or praise me for being so brave when I tell them, “I try to stay away from gluten”. Granted there are millions of people with gluten intolerance or Celiac disease. It just so happens that those millions of people all happen to live in Los Angeles.

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3) I don’t have a real job. I hate when people ask me what I do because I have to give them my LA answer; “I’m trying to be a writer but I work at a restaurant and I temp.” And yes, I’m aware of exactly how LA that sounds.

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3a) I don’t have money but I still do things. I’m not sure if this is an LA thing or just an irresponsible 30 year old thing but I really didn’t understand how so many people in LA with no full-time, salaried job, still have money to go to Cochella. But now I do.

4) I’m all spiritual now. I know there’s nothing wrong with being spiritual. It’s just that I never thought that most of the people I know have either recently had a psychic reading, practiced Kundalini yoga, or  is currently having their chakra’s aligned with healing stones. And if you know what healing stones are you probably live in LA too.

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5) I know somebody who knows somebody– The world is small but the LA world is even smaller. Everyone in LA is connected to someone famous by one or two degrees of separation. I’ve caught myself saying things like; “My friend works on that popular TV show” or “My friend was the breakfast chef that famous family” or “My friend’s best friend dated that famous actor/rapper/athlete.”

Well, at least I know what I am. Now to enjoy my mid week day off and meditate, apply to some jobs, eat at some gluten free restaurant, and take a hiking selfie with my friend that knows this guy who worked on that movie. Peace Out 🙂