Our Grandpa Boyfriends

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When you work at a restaurant that has been in business for over 30 years, some of the patrons tend to be a little older. By “a little older” I mean really, really, really old. Which gives me hope that when I’m 123 years old I will still be able to go out to eat; well, barely. Anyway some of the customers are old men who dine alone. Most of these old guys have a favorite girl who works in the restaurant. So they are our grandpa boyfriends. I’ve taken the liberty of giving them names.

Grandpa Martini- Grandpa Martini is the first customer to arrive at the start of all my Saturday morning shifts. He was also the lawyer to the deceased owner of the restaurant. Grandpa Martini is the oldest person I’ve ever seen in real life. And every Saturday he starts his day with a martini.
Grandpa Chair– Grandpa Chair is a sweet old man who comes in most lunches and every dinner. He picks his table in first row of the patio seating and exchanges the patio chair for wooden a chair from inside the restaurant. My guess is the lumbar support. He then tells me that he will be back and to hold his table. Upon further observation we learned that Grandpa Chair likes to take a walk around Sunset Plaza before he has his meal. For that I adore him. Some days the most walking I do is to my fridge.

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Grandpa Mute – Grandpa Mute also likes to sit outside. I always say to hello to him and he smiles and nods. For the first 6 months I worked here I was convinced he was a mute or just didn’t speak English. His server girlfriend is the only one who understands him, that and he orders the same thing every visit. Grandpa Mute has also been known to cop a feel if you give him a hug.

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Grandpa Mumbles (Formerly Grandpa Grumpy) – Obviously Grandpa Mumbles got his name based on his inability to speak clearly. He used to come in and not speak me or anyone else and seat himself. His visits would always end with him complaining about our service. Then one day he stopped complaining and struck up a conversation with me. He sounded like a DVD when you are fast forwarding it. He must have really been feeling himself because he even asked one of the servers out on a date, nice try Grandpa Mumbles.

Grandpa Sugar Daddy – This is the guy who supposedly makes the most money out of the husbands (the group of old guys who come in every Saturday morning) yet is the cheapest. Therefore, one server sarcastically refers to him as her “sugar daddy”.

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