Mismatched

Just to update you guys on my love life, since you’re all dying to know.  I’ve joined Match.com. After 3 weeks of being on the site, I’m ready to give up on the male species altogether. Mostly because every guy on there is like a bargain store item: cheap with subtle defects. But who am I to judge? Anyway I feel like I would have better luck if Match had more specific filters that eliminated profiles with the following criteria:

1) Guys wearing sunglasses in their pics .

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2) Grainy pics that looked scanned. It screams serial killer.
3) Corny headlines like “I can be your Prince Charming” -Umm no you can’t sir.

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4) Pics with multiple people; I have no idea which one you are.

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5) Pics with kids- yours or not they don’t belong on a dating site.
6) Bathroom selfies – Do I need to elaborate?

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7) Shirtless photos (unless it is tasteful).
8) Any profiles exclaiming they love Kanye or Drake; Delete, delete, delete!
9) The head shot profile pic….I might make an exception if you have other cool pics and you make up for it with a witty description.

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10) Tattoos on your face- Why are these people even allowed to make a profile? I feel like they should create another site for people like this: 
tattedfacedsingles.com

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11) Profiles that boast about how much money they make.
12) Creepy looking guys -They make up 97% of male online dating profile pics.
13) Trannies- that should be a given but I still get the occasional profile of a man dressed up like a women in my daily matches.

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15) Duck lips pose- this is only acceptable if you are doing it ironically and you’re cute.

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16) Profile pics of an inanimate object.

17)  The “don’t look at me” pose.

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#thisiswhyImsingle
Here are 3 more filters I wish match had from a fellow female match member;
18) The you are really too ugly to message me guys. They too should have their own site. Imreallyugly.com
19) Guys who don’t put their height, I know the trick and I know you are a midget. 
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20. Profiles with absolutely no information. “Message me if you want to know more.” Lazy ass.
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