Sobriety Sucks

Hi, my name is Kiana and I’m….sober. There, I said it out loud. Now you all know my dirty little secret. Well technically it’s just a ‘detox’. A detox that also includes giving up processed foods, meat, and one app addiction, Snapchat. So yes, to quote my friend, I am, essentially, dying. No, I’m not an alcoholic, I didn’t severely embarrass myself after a night of binge drinking, nor have I been diagnosed with some alcohol abusing disease. But I did feel like I needed to see if it were even possible for me to stop drinking for a extended period of time, 21 days to be exact.
 I started this sober journey last monday. And I’m starting to realize how hard it is to give up the bottle, for the following reasons:
1) Drinking is fun and just makes your life more interesting. You would have never; texted that ex, danced that hard, or passed out in a jack in the box drive thru at 2am if it wasn’t for alcohol.
 2) It’s an excuse to to catch up with friends.
 3) I work at a company that has mandatory happy hours. Speaking of which last friday I was the only person without a drink in their hand at our Friday happy hour. I was already the awkward semi new kid on the block but now I’m the sober semi new kid on the block. I’m basically committing social suicide.
Speaking of social situations, without alcohol they are almost unbearable. The whole act of going out isn’t even designed for sober people. There’s literally alcohol everywhere. The other night a friend and I attended a comedy show and just stared at and smelled all the delicious drinks being consumed around us. I almost had to call my sponsor. But seriously though If I can’t get through 21 days of not drinking I may consider AA or at the very least, shorten my detox time. A week is good right?



Staycation Over

Remember in elementary school when you used to have to write about what you did over the Christmas and/or Summer break? Mine was always like; I watched cartoons and saw my family.  Times were simpler then. Now, the mere thought of having unlimited amounts of free time gives me anxiety. It’s as though I need a detailed itinerary for my vacation so I don’t feel like a complete bum. I tired my best to not have expectations for my 2 week staycation.  I got some writing (very little) done, attended a writing workshop, slept in till 8am (I know, I’m such a rebel), binged watch Master of None for a second time, saw Good Will Hunting for the first time (now I’m obsessed with Boston boys with abandonment issues), played the lotto (spoiler alert: I didn’t win), went on two hikes, went to a museum, and ate like crap.

Accomplished tumblr_mfeoomWQy91qhh66po1_500

Oh my God who am I?! An adult? Fuck!* how the hell did that happen? I should have drank everyday and made bad decisions. Well I did drink almost everyday but all my decisions were responsible. What a waste of time! I used to struggle with how to be an adult and how I believed they should look and act. But it looks like I’ve already cultivated that magical healthy balance. Being an adult in 2016 is; watching spongebob but also knowing how to balance a check book. Wait, that’s a terrible analogy no one knows how to balance a checkbook. Tangets. Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t judge myself for how I spent my vacay. Because you know what? That’s how the fuck you vacation……as an adult.

*I can say fuck now because I’m an adult.