Lessons on Lessons

Where do I start? Where do I begin? Aside from having an unnecessarily long list of bday events, 32 is already teaching me so many things. Or maybe this is just everything I learned from 31.

1) Slow Down! – I lost my house keys (car keys included) for like 2 days in my apartment because I move too damn fast! And I would have never found them if I didn’t wake up one morning, stop, and actually think about where they could be, the most obvious place in the world, under my couch cushions.
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2) I’m learning to trust myself. I can guarantee that 100% of the time when we are worried about something its because we don’t trust that we are capable of receiving the best outcome.
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3) It’s okay to be a hot mess….well at least temporarily. Everyone learns their lessons at different times. Just because you aren’t where you think you should be today, doesn’t mean you won’t ever get there. Enjoy the journey; “it’s a marathon, not a sprint”.
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4) I can tell someone how I feel even if I know the feeling won’t be reciprocated. All that matters is that you’re honest with yourself and others.
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5) You get what you give. Not just a Big Sean lyric but a valuable life lesson as well. Your energy determines everything. I’m giving off a new energy, a less scared, less anxious, and hopefully a less awkward kind.
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6) Things HAVE to fall apart to come together. I wouldn’t have learned all the above lessons if I didn’t lose something or go through some shit. The reason why we suffer is because we aren’t willing to let go of an expectation. If you expect to win have to expect to lose.
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Happy Valentine’s Day!

I LOVE PRETTY IN PINK! My love for this movie grows every time I watch it. Even though I didn’t go to an all white high school exclusively made up of rich cool kids and lower class outcasts (hipsters), I still feel like this movie speaks to my soul. For one, it’s a goddamn fairy tale rom com. It has all the ingredients; boy meets girl, boy courts girl, boy disses girl, girl gets empowered, boy apologizes, they live happily ever after. What more could you ask for?

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Oh I know; the unrequited love Ducky has for Andie. However, let’s be honest, if Ducky acted that way in 2016 he would be a legit stalker and Andie would probably have a restraining order against him. I mean who just shows up to your job like that? Guys have been called stalkers for much less, i.e. liking an Instagram pic from 4 weeks ago..
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But that classic scene where he lip sings Otis Redding’s Tenderness, I die. I don’t know how or even IF I’ll get proposed to but, if future bae were to reenact that scene while proposing to me, I would say yes faster than Stacy Dash gets kicked out of an NAACP meeting.
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If there was ever a sequel to the Pretty in Pink I would hope Ducky got real fine over the summer and Andie started checking for him after her and Blaine broke up. That’s right, I believe Andie and Blaine’s relationship wasn’t strong enough to stand the test of high school’s stupid social norms and the summer after graduation they went their separate ways. Andie went on to fashion school, Duckie started modeling for Calvin Klien, and Blaine went to business school where he developed a hardcore coke addition.
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Happy Valentine’s Day!

Grown Up Birthdays

I remember my 25th birthday like it was yesterday; I had a full time job working at a law school, no real life goals, and it would go down in….Blackberry messenger.  I was single, sexy, and free, as Mya put it. I had my birthday at a local lounge complete with bottle service, me dancing on a stage, and of course me drunkenly falling off that stage. There was so much planning that went into it; picking a venue, a dress, hair, make up, and a photographer. My 25th bday was like getting ready for the Grammy’s, which also happens to fall on my bday weekend.

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But after 30, my birthday celebrations became less of a spectacle.  I tend to just throw things together for bday celebrations now; last minute invites, food, drinks, music, FIN. I’m more concerned with my loved ones being there than finding the perfect birthday dress. I just don’t have time for it. Not like physical time, but like mental time, if that makes sense. I’m too busy thinking about things that matter like; my work, my money, my health, and if Adnan really killed Hae (yes, I’m knee deep in season 1 of Serial right now).
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However, I am having a small soiree this year for my 32nd birthday even though Hannibal Buress advises against it…

Up Like Trump

So I was thinking about Donald Trump this morning. I know, I know, let’s not give this senile old man any more attention. But you have to hand it to him, he’s got some serious confidence. Confidence that I’m sure has got him as far as he’s gotten in the presidential race and with hot Russian women. I sometimes wish I had that kind of confidence, the confidence of a rich white man. Confidence so strong that’s it’s borderline delusional. How does one get that? Well as an aspiring TV writer I think it’s important to have someone to look up to, to emulate, to follow in their footsteps. For example, Tina Fey (my idol) went to Second City, so I took some courses at Second City. Now, if I want to have the confidence of the Trump I should follow in his footsteps as well. So I decided to Wikipedia him and see what steps led him to being the most confident, unattractive, unapologetic, asshole to be in the running for our next president.

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His parents were rich Damnit, I don’t have that going for me but maybe the next wave of trendy things for rich white people to do is, to adopt adult black people. #blackhistorymonth
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 He was born in NYThere’s a certain amount of hutzpah that comes from being a New Yorker. I’m sure if I lived there it would rub off on me at some point. Or at the very least I could just fake an New York accent. 
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 He owns his own businessesHmm well I own this blog….technically. 
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 He dates women who are way out of his league“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”- Scarface. Maybe Trump studied Scarface? 
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 And finally, he just yells thingsI think if went around calling people names and yelling things that I would do with no actual plan of action to do them, people would think I’m nuts or ask me to come work for Trump’s campaign, same difference.  How’s this for a new campaign slogan: Vote for Donald Trump, because he “Trumps” the competition. 
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This blog post was no way in endorsed by Donald Trump or anyone else.