Up Like Trump

So I was thinking about Donald Trump this morning. I know, I know, let’s not give this senile old man any more attention. But you have to hand it to him, he’s got some serious confidence. Confidence that I’m sure has got him as far as he’s gotten in the presidential race and with hot Russian women. I sometimes wish I had that kind of confidence, the confidence of a rich white man. Confidence so strong that’s it’s borderline delusional. How does one get that? Well as an aspiring TV writer I think it’s important to have someone to look up to, to emulate, to follow in their footsteps. For example, Tina Fey (my idol) went to Second City, so I took some courses at Second City. Now, if I want to have the confidence of the Trump I should follow in his footsteps as well. So I decided to Wikipedia him and see what steps led him to being the most confident, unattractive, unapologetic, asshole to be in the running for our next president.

His parents were rich Damnit, I don’t have that going for me but maybe the next wave of trendy things for rich white people to do is, to adopt adult black people. #blackhistorymonth
 He was born in NYThere’s a certain amount of hutzpah that comes from being a New Yorker. I’m sure if I lived there it would rub off on me at some point. Or at the very least I could just fake an New York accent. 
 He owns his own businessesHmm well I own this blog….technically. 
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 He dates women who are way out of his league“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”- Scarface. Maybe Trump studied Scarface? 
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 And finally, he just yells thingsI think if went around calling people names and yelling things that I would do with no actual plan of action to do them, people would think I’m nuts or ask me to come work for Trump’s campaign, same difference.  How’s this for a new campaign slogan: Vote for Donald Trump, because he “Trumps” the competition. 
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This blog post was no way in endorsed by Donald Trump or anyone else.

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