That Time I Flew On Spirit Airlines…

“When you know better, you do better.” – Maya Angelou
That’s the quote that kept running through my head as I boarded my SPIRIT flight to New Orleans. Of course I knew all the terrible things people say about Spirit:
“It’s like Soul Plane”
“It’s the Greyhound of the skies”
“Worst. Customer. Service. Ever.”
“It makes Con Air look fancy”
But against all those incredibly accurate analogies I still booked my flight. Not because I wanted to save money, that’s the biggest misconception about flying Spirit, you save zero coins. Because there’s a fee associated with literally every interaction you have with the airline; checked bag fees (including a carry on PERSONAL item), seat selection fees, talking to customer service fees, standing in line fees, pouring water in your hand to drink fees, hell, I’m surprised the bathroom isn’t credit card operated!
So why did I book a flight on Broken Spirits airlines? I wanted to arrive at a bachelorette party on time also it was the only direct flight that day. I think it’s fair to say that if I book a flight for a certain time, during non inclement weather season, I can generally expect to reach my destination on time, right? LOL what was I thinking? This was Spirit, their sole purpose in life is to make everyone who flies with them late as possible.
On my way to the airport I was so excited. I was meeting up with another girl in the bachelorette party and we were gonna have breakfast and mimosas at the airport and then jet to New Orleans for what would be one of my funnest trips to date. When we sat down at the gate we saw a woman with two adorable little girls who was taking pics with people as if she was a celebrity. A celebrity I didn’t know but all the black people on Spirit seemed to be infatuated with. We found out she was a reality TV star on Love and Hip Hop New York. I don’t watch reality TV so I wasn’t star struck when I was seated next to her due to my random seating assignment. If anything, I was a little annoyed I was placed at the back of the plane next to a woman with kids who looked like she could use a nanny.

I shrugged it off and got settled and put on my Frank Ocean Endless album as it’s the only album saved in my iTunes that I can enjoy in airplane mode. I closed my eyes only to be awakened by the sound of the LHHNY mom scold her baby for knocking over a coffee cup that landed on my shoe. No big deal, she apologized and gave me a baby wipe. Then I was like wait, why are we still on the ground it’s been at least 15 mins and everyone was seated? That’s when they told us there was an issue with the AC and they were working to get it fixed before we take off.

The AC was still on the fritz and we were asked to deplane. There were lots of groans and comments like: I can fly without AC…It’s not that Hot…Most of yall aint got AC at home anyway. Then there was the flight attendant over the speaker who said, “Don’t go far unless you wanna get left.”
As this was happening the LHHNY mom was FaceTimin’ with her LHHNY boyfriend and/or baby daddy, Peter Gunz. I probably shouldn’t call people out like that but he probably shouldn’t let the mother of his children AND his children fly on Spirit airlines.
With that, my friend and I exited the plane with all the other passengers and all we could do was laugh. I believe the busted AC was a result of all our collective expectations as most people on the flight said it was their first time flying with Spirit. It was like a TV show people were snapping insta/snap stories about their experience.  And I for sure thought a fight might break out and we’d end up a Daily Mail article or a segment on Desus and Mero. But after multiple inaccurate emails updating us with the new flight time and an hour and half later, we were able to re board the plane and take off.
This was just my flight getting to New Orleans. My returning flight was canceled. In my next post I will explain how to wait on hold for 2 hours without killing someone in a Spirit uniform.
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