Hey – it’s been a while. I start email’s like that now, it’s like; [greeting] “-” [body of email]. It’s quick and to the point not like the comma. The comma is a foreshadowing of something long and possibly unpleasant to read. Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to, writing robotic emails all day long and doing the work of two people. There are days when I’m so stressed out that I just lock up, freeze like a computer screen, and the rainbow pinwheel starts spinning in my mind. Then something snaps and I get this weird glaze over my eyes and start speaking to everyone like a Stepford wife.
So when my job asked us who was taking time off for the holidays I immediately replied to that email: Hey – Abso-freakin’-lutely. No, I don’t have any real travel plans and yes, most of my family live in LA. Why are those the only times when we feel it’s acceptable to take vacation days? How about when you’re so stressed out that you can’t can’t sleep through the night, your weigh fluctuates, your face breaks out, and you have neck and shoulder pains from where you hold your stress. Why don’t we take days off to take a break from that? As bad as all that sounds I still feel like I’m just being dramatic and this is normal, everyone feels like this at work, right? Our jobs and society have us programmed to believe that we need to prove something that we need to kill ourselves in order to be happy. F*ck that! I had a realization the other day after one of my many breakdowns and that realization is that; This. Shit. Doesn’t. Matter. We’re not saving lives here people, it’s just a job, and I hear there’s more of them out there. Oh you didn’t send that email? You were late? You missed that meeting? But did you die though? No.
So yeah, I would have liked to go to the grand canyon with my days off but I also just needed to decompress and get away from work before I had one of those private breakdowns, publicly. And yes, my company is cool as shit, but my job, my job is just shitty.
That was pretty agro but whatevs<—- And yeah, I talk like that sometimes.
I RSVP to a lot of stuff. I probably don’t go to half of the stuff I RSVP for. Actually, I don’t go to most of it. I’m not saying that to brag about how cool my social life is or how popular I am, I say that to illustrate how useless an RSVP is at gauging how many people will attend an event. It’s 2016 there has to be a better way. Like, the government creating time machines exclusively for people to travel to the future to see how many people actually attend their event.
I don’t like RSVP’ing for events because chances are I’m not going to be able to go for reasons outside of my control. Reasons like; work, a conflicting event, traffic, or a new episode of Mr. Robot. Honestly, I hate committing to events because I hate obligation. Once I click ‘will attend’ I’ve sealed my future fate. I like to live in the present moment, the here, the now. What if I’m too tired to go when the day arrives? What if I get invited to a cooler event? What if I don’t find anyone to go with? Or what if I meet my soulmate and he asks me out on a date and I’m like, “Sorry bruh, I can’t go out with you because I RSVP’d this event”? Hey, it could happen. I like to consider myself a bit of a spontaneous planner. Subconsciously, I know I don’t want to go to that event or won’t be able to make it, but I don’t come to that realization till the very last minute. It usually goes something like this;
RANT: The first presidential debate was last night and everyone was watching. Not because everyone was actually interested in hearing a civil and logical debate about the issues, but because everyone wanted to hear all the ridiculous things Donald Trump had to say. Even the people who hate him still want to hear what he has to say because it gives them ammunition for their social media posts.
So no, I didn’t watch the debate. Not because I hate Donald Trump, but because that debate wasn’t meant to give us a clear understanding of where the candidates stood on the issues. That debate was meant encourage even more uninformed opinions. It was like watching a really long Buzzfeed video. I’d rather read the transcript of the debate and highlight the parts where the candidates talked about issues that mattered to me the most and not watch some shit show that was meant to give people something to tweet about. End of Rant.
Anyway, here’s a short list of people who I believe are more qualified than Donald Trump to be president:
I debated on writing this post as I signed an NDA and am legally not allowed to talk about the following experience (in detail). But who cares about laws and authority these days given the state of America….
That moment when you realize your life is too stable to be an artist.