‘Adult’ Parties

Whenever I go to a house party in LA I feel like I’ve been transported back in time to college, many, many, many years ago, circa 2005. We still talk about what we wanna be when we grow up, who we have a crush on, and drink Fireball straight up. College was like our model for how parties should look. It’s not like we learn a new way to party as an adult. I mean, we can pretend to party like adults by mimicking what we see on TV, films, and Pintrest. You know, charcuterie plates, wine, indie music, and adult conversations (i.e. who are you dating?, do you like your new job?, etc.) . But somehow, some way, the night always ends with pizza and flip cup.


And there are a few people you always encounter at these ‘adult’ parties:
The Girl Who Gets Too Drunk – She’s like a pit bull off her leash and we have no idea what she’s gonna do next. One thing we do know, she will wake up the next day with many regrets.
The Guy Who Stands Against A Wall The Whole Night And Sips His Drink – Who is this guy? Who invited him? Did he come alone? Why? Maybe some girl invited him and he thought they were gonna hang out, but she’s wasted, and dancing with some other guy…
The Dancers – The 2-4 people who start dancing that people make a circle around. The onlookers take pics and video to add to their Snap and Insta-stories to validate how ‘Lit’ the party was.
The People Making Out – Maybe they’re a couple or maybe they just met at the party. Either way, they’re drunk enough to not care about anyone watching.
The Owner Of The House – They’re pretending to have fun but are secretly hoping everyone magically disappears before the neighbors call the cops.
The Clique – The girls or guys who stay in their friend group the whole night and don’t branch out.
Which category do I fall in, you ask?
The Introvert – The person who walks around, talks to only people they know, checks their phone a million times, has a drink or two, and finds a place to sit and observe. They do all of this within 35 minutes and are ready to go because they’ve met their social interaction quota for the day. They Irish exit the party because saying good bye gives them even more social anxiety. They need to go home to be alone and recharge so they can do it all again at the next party.

A Real (Millennial) Job

So remember that post about not getting that job? Right after that I got a random email from a recruiter at an Ad agency on LinkedIN. I started to dismiss it as spam but something told me to look them up. Turns out they are one of the coolest creative ad agencies out there partnering with the likes of Jay Z!

The more I learned about the company the more I became interested. I know what you’re thinking; “Kiana, that’s not a network or a TV show, I thought you wanted to be closer to a writing room? And blah, blah, blah.” To that I say, I can still write, pursue my writing career and get this money!  Not temp money, but grown up salary-taking international trips-paying a car note and insurance-might be able to afford something at Whole Foods, type of money. So after I threw out an ideal salary to the recruiter during my phone interview and she basically replied like it was nothing to a boss, I jumped to schedule my in person interview.

I’ve been through a million interviews for almost every type of job. But never for a creative ad agency. I kind of had an idea of what the company culture was going to be like based on their cool ass clients and a video blog tour of their offices. They do things like free food Fridays, have wine and beer on tap, and have live music performances for their employees, and a basketball court made from the UCLA Pauley Pavilion court. I was excited off the perks alone. The job description is basically what I’m doing now but wayyy cooler and millennial, yes, I just used millennial as a verb.

I met with 3 Directors during my first interview. Every conversation was easy and flowed like I was talking to one of my girlfriends. I was comfortable, which almost never happens. And the second round was even more chill. I talked about Pintrest recipes with one interviewer for like an hour while we sat outside and sipped lattes. Oh AND there were cute guys everywhere! Could it be that I might meet the Jim to my Pam at this place?
I don’t know. All I know is I saw lots of tattoos, beards, and expensive haircuts.

Anywho I’m up for round 3 next week. I don’t what’s going to happen so…

To Be Continued..

The Waiting Game


I hate waiting. Like if there was a line to get to heaven I’d be like, Eff this I’ll come back later. But sometimes life is all about waiting. Waiting for your clothes to dry, your Uber to come, or your cell phone to charge (I’ve been known to snatch mine off the charger at 20%, like yup good enough). Patience is a virtue. I only pretend to know what that means.


I’m currently waiting to hear back from yet another position I applied to here. The interview went well. My chances are good. And I’m not over thinking anything. I’m just tired of waiting. Tired of having my life up in the air for ONE decision to be made. I want to make travel plans, decide if I’m going to move or continue to pin DIY home improvement pins for my apt, and to just know where the f*ck I’ll be in 6 months.
As per usual I have no definite end date for this job and no set begin date for the next. I’m in limbo land and the bar is getting too low to shimmy under. I could be looking at this all wrong, another job rejection could force me to reevaluate my career path. Not like I need to quit. But maybe I’m not supposed to get the 9-6 gig even it is closely related to what I want to do. Maybe I need to be aiming higher and riskier.  The creative life is rough but I have to remember; I didn’t choose the creative life, the creative life chose me. I just want some stability, some kind of guarantee. Sigh, I guess I’ll just keep writing these posts in the meantime. I mean, I don’t have anything else to do while I wait…

donald glover


Questions for Society

If someone asked me what I believe to be the world’s biggest problem is aside from war, hunger, and Kanye West; I would say it’s distraction. That’s why I haven’t been able to write a new blog post or a pilot that isn’t total crap. So society I have some questions for you!
How do you expect me to lose weight/stay in shape when you keep inventing new delicious meals?
Meals like maple apple wood smoked bacon wrapped burgers, with sirracha lime queso sauce.
How do you expect me to workout regularly…?
When you create 88 seasons of ‘Breaking Bad’ quality like shows that prevent me from leaving my house bed for weeks?
download (1)
How do you expect me to focus on writing or anything with all the technology you have built to distract me?
I’ve spent HOURS reading motivational quotes on Pinterest, ironically about procrastination. Then there’s Instagram, Facebook, dating apps, gaming apps, and random apps that…
* Takes 10 mins to play addicting game app *
Annnd I’m back. So you (society) want me to workout hard, eat clean,  and pursue my passions while being a full time internet crack head?
I should just start a cult. A cult of people determined to finish something. We live in a small village cut off from society, have limited internet access, eat food from the land we live on (and Trader Joes),  and have mandatory P.E.- because working out is obviously more effective when done in groups and it’s forced. It will be like an Amish community but not quite.
As much as I would love to live like this and be a cult leader, I can’t. The trick is that you have to stay focused no matter what life and society throws at you. However, you have to envy people who made it pre-internet days. How much easier it must have been to sit and write by candle light because what the fu*k else was there to do?