So I don’t know if you guys know this or not but I’m single. Like really, really, really, fu*king single. Not in the annoying “omg I’m over 30 and single” kind of way but in the “oh yeah, I’m not dating anyone *Kanye Shurg*” kind of way.
But there are times when I develop these teenage crushes. I say “teenage” because my crushes are usually someone I don’t know or have had very limited interactions with, like that guy that worked at Trader Joes that I believed was my soul mate, but was too scared to ask him what aisle the Sunflower Seed Butter was on. TJ’s guy excluded, most times these guys turn out to be either very openly gay or very effeminate. Not that there’s anything wrong with being either of those things, it just becomes a problem for me when I think I have an actual chance at dating them. Which now that I’m thinking about it, it kinda explains why I’m single. It’s one thing to go for unavailable guys, but I seem to go for the most obviously unavailable ones. I should probably see a therapist about it OR just continue blogging about it. Yeah, I’m gonna go with the latter.
(An actual meme from his IG account)
I’m a public radio station member. I have no problem supporting KCRW because it’s the shit! But if 21 year old Kiana were asked to join a public supported radio station she might say; “Talk radio is for old people”.
I enjoy various soups. Classic old people meal. And the other day I even made tomato soup from scratch! That exclamation point was genuine excitement by the way.
I care about what goes on in the world. Not that I didn’t care about what went on the world before I became 30. I just realized that one day my generation will be running things so I pray they get their shit together.
I try to dress age appropriate. I have to stop myself from buying novelty tees with trendy sayings on them like; “I woke up like this” or “Twerk Team Captain”.
Friends with benefits are out of the question. What do I look like? A 21 year old? A basketball ‘wife’? Video vixen? A chick with low self esteem? I think you get the point.
I pay bills when I receive them (sometimes)– There’s nothing like the feeling of having your bills paid weeks before they’re due.– Some old person.
I play the lotto occasionally. Not because I think I will win but because that’s just what old people do.
I don’t know who new celebrities are. I have to stay current on my pop culture so it saddens me when I don’t know the difference between an Ariana Grande or a Vanessa Hudgens. That’s the same thing right?